Idiot Of The Week: King of the Ice Dodoes
by Nathan Walpow
I’m not the bravest guy in the world. Especially when it comes to water. I never learned how to swim, and even now I feel uncomfortable when faced with any accumulation of it bigger than a bathtub. The beach scares me. Going on a bridge over water makes me hold my breath. Actually traveling on the stuff, no matter what its physical state, has me counting the minutes until the trip’s over.
So you’ll never find me traipsing out on a frozen pond, lake, whatever. Just not my thing. But if I did venture to do so, if, say, I wasn’t a vegetarian and felt like catching my dinner, and I was accustomed to schlepping out onto the ice and chopping a hole and tossing a fishline in, I think I’d pay attention to conditions. I think if things were warming up and the ice was melting, I might be a bit more circumspect about finding my food.
Evidently there are at least 135 people who aren’t as wary. At least 135 people who went out on Lake Erie last Saturday and were out on the ice when the ice became a floe, detaching itself before their very eyes and, as Associated Press reported, stranding them thusly:
On Saturday morning, fishermen had used wooden pallets to bridge a crack in the ice so they could go out farther on the lake. But temperatures rose into the 40s, and the planks fell into the water when the ice shifted, stranding the fishermen about 1,000 yards offshore.
One person died. Another, who tried to drive his ATV over a small crack in the ice, was plucked from the water. Ottawa County Sheriff Bob Bratton said, "What happened here today was just idiotic. I don’t know how else to put it."
Swanton, Ohio’s Norb Pilaczynski didn’t agree with the lawman, saying, "We were in no danger. We knew there was enough ice out there."
Tell that to the guy who died, Norb. Oh, and by the way, if you’re ever in L.A., stop by for your Idiot Of The Week award.
Madalyn Ruggiero / AP
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