Is Nancy Pelosi Funding Terrorists?
by Jim Washburn
Gotta wonder. I only saw the first 12 minutes of President Obama’s State of the Union address. I’ll catch up with it on DVR, and suppose I’ll have something to blather about it on Monday in Lost in OC, the column that refuses to die, even if it smells that way.
One thing I can tell you: It made me feel sorry for Nancy Pelosi.
Anyone remember Chiller, the Saturday horror movie show where “Terror is the Order of the Day”? It was on in the ’60s on Channel 9, if I recollect, the fine channel that brought us Engineer Bill and Shrimpenstein. One evening the movie was about a mad scientist who’d imprison visitors in underground cells, taking them one by one to do horrible, shrieking experiments on them; they were returned as inhuman freaks. The scientist’s brute who dragged the prisoners to their grisly surgeries was played by Tor Johnson, if that gives you some idea of this flick’s budget. That’s often the scariest kind of film, one where any notion of dramatic convention or cinematic craft has fled, and all that’s left is stupid, numbing horror. The monstrosity! Handsome men and beautiful women, brutally operated upon, their genes intermingled with a Cornish game hen’s or something; so destroyed that there’s just a tiny desperate twitch in the eye to speak of the ruined soul imprisoned inside a disfigured face incapable of registering any expression.
Sorry, I meant to talk about Nancy Pelosi. There she and Joe Biden were, stuck just behind Obama, charged with doing absolutely nothing for over an hour, on camera every second with some 50 million people watching. Tough gig.
And it seemed especially hard for Pelosi, who made a frightful grimace from time to time. “See that?” my wife the barber remarked. “She can’t even smile anymore. It’s the Botox.” She has an eye for these things. If Hitler somehow came back and was screaming from a podium, my wife would be the one saying, “He looks like he’s had work done.”
So I can only rely on her expertise in asserting that the honorable senator from California has been slurping overlong at the Fountain of Youth. That might make a certain sense in Washington, where a poker face is an asset; it certainly is less sad than the actors who’ve had so much work done that they need CGI just to arch an eyebrow.
But now there’s this: the Washington Post has reported that terrorist groups are dealing in and possibly manufacturing black market Botox. Along with funding their operations—and we don’t mean cosmetic ones—this has raised the fear in intelligence circles that the black market has made it easy for them to obtain the stuff needed to manufacture the source material of Botox, botulinum toxin, the most potent neurotoxin extant, so powerful that a mere gram of it could kill thousands of people. So it’s not unlikely that terrorists will attack us with nerve toxins funded by their illicit Botox sales, and all we’ll be able to do it look on, expressionless.
Here’s the Washington Post article.
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