Livin’ on Dog Food

by Jim Washburn

Here’s some helpful information for these challenging times from the May 1 Business section of the LA Times: In a blind taste test of 18 persons (I’m guessing that’s the Times’ remaining newsroom staff) only three were able to tell the difference between pate and dog food. The test included real pates, Spam and pureed liverwurst, a sampling that seems less scientific than cruel. After liverwurst you might as well eat cat ass. Further skewing the result, the dog food was Newman’s Own, and you know Paul Newman only fed his dogs delicious Christian babies. (Not actually true, but only because Joanne stopped him.) For all I know Newman’s Own costs more than pate, but at least you’d be eating pork snouts instead of the trauma-packed livers of waterboarded geese. This study, by the way, was sponsored by the American Association of Wine Economists, whose sommeliers must even now be striving to find an apt vino accompaniment for Alpo.

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